:: The Every So Often When I Decide to Post Blog ::

:: Sunday, August 31, 2003 ::

I Smell It in the Air

Is it Bratwurst?

Is it Beer?

Is it Pigskin?

The answer to all of these is Hell YEAH! Football time is here and there is nothing that says football season to me like drafting your fantasy football time which I did tonight. I'd go through the beautiful draft I had but I have feeling you may not care. You may be right. But it's great I juts made one possible mistake not taking Michael Vick as my backup QB. I instead picked up Tommy Maddox as my back up with Drew Bledsoe takiung the lead. It could be a coup with Maddox if he plays even better than he did last year. Besides Vick could be forever sucky cause of this injury.

I don't know where I finally found this love for football. It's been growing inside of me for about 5 years now and at last it exploded. I was talking football stats with the best of them. Did you know a good way to cut through guy shorthand is to now football. It's the best way to get to know people. It's a quick common ground. Any guy who knows his way around football is an instant friend. Unless your drunk and you disagree with them... in which case he's an instant enemy. BUT the main point you can talk to anyone about football. I think many of the women I know who like football, at first, just watched so they could talk to guys and now just plain love it.

Now I'm in love with a team that this year probaly won't make the playoffs, but since '85 the bears have been shuffeling there way through my love for football. They sucked alot since then and maybe that's laid dormant my love for the pigskin. And oddly, I've taken a liking to the Chiefs despite their AFC status. But that damn Presit Holmes is a god. I just hate his need to get paid. That's a guy who needs a new publicity agent. He just needs to shut up.

Now this is the one thing I hadn't thought about when preparing for my move to Austin next week. It's day 1 of football season. At least I'll have something to listen to on the radio and watch in My Hotel room.

Well probably only two more posts left before the big move.

Your moment of ZEN
:: Matt 10:53 PM [+] ::
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Dirty Old Man

I used to think, when I was a teenager, that I'd love to have this old guy around who tell you naughty jokes and say things that were completely wrong and obscene. And you laugh at the naughty bits and him cause he's just so bad.

Well recently I realized I have one of these guys now and... it's not all it's cracked up to be. Let's call him GLen. Glen comes in to where I work sits at the bar and tells you naughty jokes. Some are funny, some you give the courtesy laugh and to and some.... Well remember all those totally tasteless joke books that reared their head around 1989? Well some of these would offend even these guys, I think. And he'll say crass things about you like. Not to be mean, he says, but "Because, she really needs to shed a few pounds or she'll never land a guy."

What they never told you about your dirty old man is that there's a reason he's alone. Of course this guy has been divorced and hates her and is so downright bitter about women and relationships. He just doesn't understand or feels the need to be nice to women. Or that relationships can work and it doesn't have to be about the woman being at your beck and call.

I guess I wanted more in my dirty old man. A charismatic guy who actually got along with the female servers and they'd say "If your weren't so old I'd lay you in a minute." Like he's somehow earned the right to be a bit disrespectful but you seriously know he's probably kidding. Well, he MAY be kidding but that's the fun part of it.
"Why if I offer a girl 10,000 for a blow job will she not only not do it but become offended." Probably Glen because you don't have 10 grand and your a dirty old man. She's heard all this filth spew from your mouth why should she want you? But you can't actually say these things. This is his thing and it's all he's got so let him have it. Just sit back, smile at his joke and say "Geez, your going to hell for that one."

But I guess if a guy has all this going for him there's no reason to be a dirty old man.

Moment of Zen
:: Matt 5:11 PM [+] ::
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Horror Movies

I used to HATE HATE HATE horror movies.

They would scare the bejesus out of me. Amytiville Horror was scary. My brother could freak me out with "eyes peeking in the window, matt."

And it did.

Horror movies would just plan leave me on the floor, under my covers, with my giant 3 ft teddy bear laying next to me. TO scare the evil people away, you see.

The Twilight Zone: The Movie scene where they pan around the girl and she has no mouth. Done. Freaked out. Hall light is left on.

So somewhere around 8th grade I got passed it. Freddy was the man. Nightmare 3, was the best. Dream Warriors. People out actively attacking Freddy. Yeah, there's a way to kill the meanies, you don't hide... you attack. And now pretty much I just laugh. It's hilarious. Like in my Jason X review on the other site. The scene when he smashes her frozen face into mush is plain funny. Now, when I try and sleep, if it's not pitch black, I'm ain't sleeping.

So I've been cured of the scary movie syndrome. Though I saw Exorcist for the first time like a year okay when it was rereleased and it sorta shook me up.

I'm not a sicko either, I mean if I saw Jason hack someone to tiny bits in real life I owuld either a) run B) Pass out or c) puke then run. But I think in the end I just realized... it's Fake. It's not real. I know how movies are made. And though there are one or two jumps in Freddy V. Jason it mostly just made me cheer like watching a bad wrestling match or Detroit Lions Vs. The Texans. It's an exciting match to watch but I don't really care much who wins.

Here's my review from the movie page.

And todays moment of Zen is brought to us by FHM. It's Monica Keener the star of F.V.J.
:: Matt 11:20 PM [+] ::
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Addendum

It's been pointed out that I guess I do understand a bit about addiction. If I didn't I could never have written the previous blog. I guess that's true.

Also, I also wanted to write a bit about first kisses but managed to forget that untapped territory. So instead I'll add it here. Oh, and this may seem a bit on the soft/girly side. But I like first kisses. But more importantly the anticipation of the first kiss. Where you know it's gonna happen but you just have to make that first move. Those first kisses where you've liked someone for a long time and you've flirted and now you've gone out and it's toward the end of the night and it's at the point where things will either wrap up or... you're making out.

Someone mentioned to me last night that although frist kisses are great... it's usually the second or third that get even better. I say there's nothing quite as fresh as a first kiss. You don't know what you're moving into. Does she have soft lips? Is this a sweet kiss or a hot kiss? You're hearts pounding.... waiting. And at last you do it and you realize she may need a bit of chap stick and you never see hide nor hair of her tounge. Oh well they're not all perfect but you've kissed someone new. And now you can move on with that new kowledge. What worse is when you kiss someone you'll never get to kiss again. Then it's sort of sad.
For the record the last was soft and sweet.

And the one before that... pretty hot. I think it even rained.

Matt

Moment of Zen
:: Matt 1:52 PM [+] ::
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Confirmed Addict

Here it comes the big scoop. Previous posts have probably lead you to this conclusion. But I only just last night realized it.

My addiction to women has gotten worse.

There I said it. It's kind of nice to realize things like this.

I've always adored women. I've even allowed myself to get a bit nutty about a few of them, but only recently did I realize that (said as Jim Carrey) I like them alot. I could be having the worst night ever at work but if I've got a philly flirting with me it changes my whole mood. And I've seriously gotten more excited at smiles and curves and small raised eyebrows of flirt. And the lure of women has unconsciously adjusted how important my general appearance has become. Here's how:

1) My hair has become and important issue. The way it's cut and styled and how I wear it out.

2) Clothes. Gone are the Gym shoes and white sweat socks. Hello to brown shoes brown socks that actually match the kahkis I'm wearing.

3) Every conversation with women has now become a sad dissection of how and why I like them and if this could further lead to something else. Anything else. Am I laying it on too thick? Have I said she looks hot?

4) I've actually started to thinking about organizing stuff in my future house and how I can keep it clean and I spent 45 minutes cleaning my car out which came in handy last night.

Perhaps this is just a male biological clock. Perhaps as I apporch the big 30 I figure it may be time to meet "the One." Or I just need to have a bit more fun before I do.

Matt


:: Matt 1:49 PM [+] ::
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An Introduction

Hi, I'm Catch-22. I like to complicate people's lives. Would you like something to go easily? I'm gonna pull a big Negatory. Would you for instance like to start a new life in a new place? WOuld you like to actually be responsible for once and try and get stuff done early? Well hows this for a big wrench in the works? What if... say you find the perfect place for the perfect price? And have fill out the app but you need proof of work? But then, oh and here's the kicker, you need proof of employment in your new town.

And then make it so your easy to get job is complicated because they don't take interviews on Sunday now matter how dire the cirmcumstances?

Yeah, that should foul you up pretty good. See you at tax time.

:: Matt 1:24 PM [+] ::
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I don't always get it

Sometimes I understand intellectually but emotionally I just dont get it. If I'm out of beer. I'm out of beer, ya know. I'll drink OJ. I'll have a Coke and a smile. I'm NOT gonna whig out. I'm not lose it cause I don't have a beer.

What am I getting at is that I pretty much don't understand addiction. I'm a pattern guy. I slip into patterns. Right now it' involves waking up 4 hours before work and playing Galaxies until the absolute last second, drinking a coke and eating pizza. This is not an addiction.

Sometimes my pattern is to date women I shouldn't. This mostly involves women who have bad patterns and my attempt at the rescue.

And sometimes, though rarely, my pattern is to surf for porn on the internet. :)

I have a pattern about drinking and I only feel like it twice. It's after work and getting a frosty Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat from Fridays. And the other is playing Ping Pong at Toby's and like last night, I tend to sleep there. Other than that... drinking doesn't enter the scene outside of social engagements. These are never "alone" times.

And I grew up watching my mother battle smoking. She was on again/ off again all the time. She finally quit about three years before she died of lung cancer. There were many times she would freak is she lsot her patches or had no cigs. It was a bit much. Nothing crazy. I'm sure there are people in the world who dealt with things far worse. She would just yell and scream and then cry.

I always watched those after school specials where they have to intercede and tell someone they have a drinking problem. Something I always thought would become obvious to someone and I always thought when the time came I'd be able to step up. But when it's your best bud and you don't spend 24 hours watching his every habit and you don't necesarrily see him every day it's hard to have the necessarry proof. And maybe after the first two DWI's, you'd think he'd get it himself. And after the third he did a better job of calling for rides. And last month he went 30 days no drinking "just to see if he could." We'd party he'd drink Lipton Brisk. And afterwards he'd only drink two or three times a week. And somewhere in the last week he upped the drinking a bit and on Saturday was in an accident got his 4th DWI and is in Jail.

Jail.

In orange, having to hit the toilet in public, showering in front of felons, jail. And, my guess, will be there for six months or so.

This is my best bud. The bud who was going to move to Austin with me. I guess now, I'm glad he's not. Hopefully this is the wake up call he needs. And I admidt I got some guilt about all this. But he was doing so much better... he was understanding his addictive nature and how DARK DARK DARK he got when he drank. Which, of course, is why he couldn't ask for a ride. Dummy.

Not his faullt. The alcohols fault. Well tell it to the judge.

CALL A CAB!!!! 10 dollars or 10 months in jail!!!!!

No Moment of Zen. Inappropriate.
:: Matt 9:18 AM [+] ::
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It's ah... sad but true.

I actually spent money on the two disc special edition Supergirl DVD. If you haven't seen this movie well your missing a lot of "what could have beens." Could have beens happen alot. Superman II has a few. But that's in a few paragraphs. This movie was made in an age before women were action heros. Before Lara Croft was even a video game let alone a movie with Angelina and her nipples. Before Catwoman, and before there were many chicks who even picked up guns in movies and knew how to shoot them. (with the exception of course, of Princess Leia.)

So what did they screw up? Well, not the casting. Helen Slater is pretty enough to be supergirl, though today it would prolly be someone with a little more chiseled body and big boobs. But she's fair enough and works well as Supergirl and her alter-ego. Faye Dunaway as the bad guy. Peter O'Toole as Cara's father figure and Marc McClure as Jimmy Olsen. Where they did screw up was Hart Bochner. What a lousy actor this guy is. He's the love interest for both Supergirl and Faye Dunaways villian, Selena and THAT's impossible to buy. Course I say that and he turns out to be the guy from Die Hard who hits on McClane's wife. Most Famous Line: "Hans... buby, I can give 'em to ya." But he's just so goofy.

But where they DID screw up was this, and I'm quoting the director here: "Superman is the man of Steel, he's powerful. We wanted Supergirl to be Syle, agility and Grace." Has anyone picked up a Supergirl cartoon? She kicks ass. She supposed to kick ass. Who wants a love story? We want a CHICK KICKING ASS!! Who cares about Style and Grace. She's a FUCKING superhero not a debutante. Guess they should have cast Audrey Hepburn.

Now what's the real story, imho? The producers are idiots.

"Matt," I hear you say. "These are the same supposed idiots who made Superman I and II? How can they be idiots?" Well, I'll tell you. They fired Richard Donner on Superman II. He filmed 80% of it. The moments in Superman II that don't work are not Richard Donner. Did you know for instance he filmed a scene with Brando for II where Kent comes back to the fortress of Solitude to get his powers back. And Jor-El returns and in a very powerful scene like the Sistene Chapel God giving Adam life gives Kal-El all the remaining energy.
And Supe returns.

They changed the way Lois finds out he's Clark. Check out the DVD to Supe I to see this.

They made a great movie good. But if that's not enough for you.... Look at Superman III.

So Supergirl goes out of it's way to not be Superman and fails.... badly. The script is horrible, the story and dialogue BOTH suck and Helen Slater is hot in her little outfit. She doesn't exactly save herself in the end either.

No admittedly they had a better script and when Chris Reeve dropped out of the film at the 10th hour they had to do a rewrite and the ensuing film lost it's punch. But the directors a goofball. His audio commmentary makes audio commentarys look bad. If he didn't make me laugh and his sheer lack of anything that didn't involve style, elegance and grace. No john Williams... we wanted a more elegant score. Her landings are graceful.

And speaking of scripts I dug one up online and even it seems better than the movie turned out. How THAT happens I have no idea. It's here. Just skimming the first 20 or so pages it seems better.

But the good news is.... I only paid 12 bucks for it, used.

Oh and read my brothers review... here.

Check out this moment of Zenishness and this nice review.

Oh and what I want for my 30th.
:: Matt 4:49 PM [+] ::
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