AJ's Online Journal

Bad Birthday Boy

Well, Jeff sent me his photos of the infamous birthday night kick off. And as promised I will post a few of them. The angles are a bit odd, but they were taken from our VIP room right above the bar. Also, Matt posted his version of Vegas highlights on his site so if you want to hear more.... go see for yourself! I will return to less indulgent blogs soon, I promise. So enjoy the pictures. I did realize we never got a photo of this girls face so for as much as I remember she could have had an Adam's Apple? God I hope not.... but anyhoo.... here ya go.....and remember this could or could not be me. ;)

Vegas-The Complete Story

Ok, so I've been back from Vegas now for about 60 hours and out of those 60 hours I've slept 42 hours. Wow, I sure can sleep! Must be a bit tired from all the Vegas excitement? Anyhoo, I will use this entry to detail my trip to Sin city. It might be a little long so I apologize ahead of time.
Wednesday- I spent most of the day traveling to Vegas. Taxi-Train-Plane-Tram-Plane-Tram-Car to be more specific. Got to Vegas that night and went straight to my favorite fast food place. Wendy's!! I miss it sooooo! After chowing down a single with cheese (no pickles). I headed off to the Venetian to check into my room. Jeff had already checked in earlier in the week so I would be the second arrival with Karen arriving a few hours later, and Matt arriving the next day at lunch. Anyhoo, got my bags up the elevator and began my trek down this long ass hallway trying to find my room (see picture below). And wouldn't you know it.... we were at the very freakin' end! Luckily when I got into the room it was freakin' great! Very nice two bedroom with a step down living room, and a huge bathroom complete with a vanity table. Ya know, for all of us to put our make-up on? In the end it just became another place to pile dirty clothes and such. :) There was a nice Creme' Brule' sitting on the table with a card from Julie welcoming me to Vegas. I thought that was sweet. After dessert I unpacked and crashed. I vaguely remember Karen arriving and Jeff getting back but for the most part I was gone for the night.
Thursday- Jeff got up and left early to attend a Microsoft convention so Karen and I went to breakfast.... at Denny's! I was way too excited to be eating at all of these places. After we both finished our French slams we went back to the hotel for a little gambling while waiting on Matt to arrive. He finally arrived a few hours later and wanted to hit McDonalds for a quick bite. After that we headed to The Mirage to sign me up for a poker tournament. Unfortunately they were sooooo busy that they canceled the tournament. We would soon find out that the whole town was super busy. Between spring break and March Madness EVERYTHING was busy! We ended up back at our hotel for more gambling. Eventually headed back to the room to wait for Jeff. He had a Microsoft party to go to at New York, New York so we all tagged along. They had free beer and food so you couldn't lose. Los Lobos was there playing... boy are they old! The great thing was the fact that Espn Zone was reserved for the party. This meant free video games!!! Computer geeks and free video games? What a super smart idea!! We played until about 10 and then decided to grab our free gift bags(game kits and T-shirts), and head to the Coyote Ugly. Yes... like the movie. I had obtained line passes so we all went straight in.... ahead of the mass of people waiting to get in themselves. Again this place was packed. Lots of girls dancing on the bar, free shots, more girls dancing on the bar, and that was about it. We all felt very awkward about holding our gift sacks all night so Matt offered to go stick them in a locker for us. A few drinks later and a few hours later we decided to head back to the hotel. We get outside and Matt tells us, "Oh, they didn't have any lockers available so I just hid them in a bush outside". So, he led the way. We walk out of the hotel, up the strip about 3 blocks, onto a side street, and sure enough there in the bushes... all of our stuff. I still can't imagine him carrying all of this stuff down a busy street only to stick it in a bush!! Kinda funny if ya ask me. Anyhoo, we get back to our hotel..... and crash!
Friday- We slept in pretty late and then headed to the Hilton for the Star Trek experience. It was opening weekend for a new ride they had, Borg Invasion. We go to this every year because it's a super fun ride and at the end of the ride you can hit the bar and drink colored beer and hang out with Star Trek characters. Unfortunately this year the bar was reserved for a private party. That sort of sucked, but the rides more than made up for it. That took up most of the afternoon so we headed back to our hotel to change for dinner. We went to a Mexican place inside the Venetian Canals for Margarita's and good food. After that we went to The Palms so Matt and I could play poker. We played for about 3 hours and had a great time. I wish we could have played longer but Jeff and Karen had been more than patient so we left and headed downtown. We got down there pretty late so the crowds has dispersed. We all grabbed a foot long Hurricane drink and roamed around for a while. The light show was under repair so we didn't even get to see that. Feeling a little drunk and disappointed we decide to head to a night club. We get to this club and its SOOOOOO BUSY! A twenty dollar cover and there's no room to move and worse can't get a waitress to take our drink orders. A bit upset we just head back to the hotel and once again...... crash!
Saturday- Feeling as we had spent way too much money we decide to hit the pool for the afternoon. Fun in the sun was just what we needed. And everyone knows the sun makes you thirsty so we HAD to order tasty beverages, right? Well, our cheap day at the pool turned into a 150 dollar bar bill. Hmmmm...... oh well....still fun nonetheless. We all went upstairs to change for dinner then headed to Treasure Island to eat at Kahunaville. Food was ok so nothing to talk about here. After dinner we headed to a "topless bar". It was free to get in, but a two drink minimum. Everyone was pretty intelligent to order beers, but I ordered two whiskey sours. Now what I didn't know was that to this bar a whiskey sour meant pouring a third rate whiskey into a tall glass, topping off with a cherry, and serving. WOW!!! Needless to say it took me a while to drink them. The scenery itself was ok... it was more fun to watch the other guys go crazy than to actually watch the tattooed saggy and pierced girls working there. We head out after that to The Beach, a night club that I had VIP passes to. This was another great idea... they stuck us in a private room that over looked the bar and dance floor and then gave us all free drinks. This was great fun!! The bar itself had beer bong races and body shots to add to the excitement. Oh and all off the staff wore bathing suits!!!! Small ones!! One of the bartenders doing the body shots was smokin' hot! Well, at midnight when it officially became my birthday they took me down stairs for my own shot with the smokin' hot bartender. It was basically her spanking me, making me lick whip cream off various parts of her body, and ending it with taking a shot off her stomach and downing it. I believe Jeff has pictures of this so maybe I will post them at some point. I was a good boy so I don't have anything to hide. ;) Later that night they were giving free Tequila shots so we all went to the bar to claim our prize. Basically it was just opening your mouth and having the bartender pour it down your throat. I got a lot on my face and in my nose to add to the fun. I think at this point we all decided it was time to go. So we did... back to the hotel to once again ...... crash!
Sunday- My 31st birthday!!! We got up at about 2. Well we didn't actually get up... we stayed in bed and watched TV. Matt and Karen went out for Subway, but I stayed curled up watching a Cubs game all afternoon. At about 5 we all started getting ready. They had a surprise night planned for me. All I knew was we all had to dress up. So, I dressed in my Sunday best and we all headed to the Rosewood Grille, a very nice Lobster and Steak place. Julie had made the reservations for us and in doing so had a bottle of Champagne waiting for us. The best Champagne I've ever had I think. Matt and Karen ordered the steak and Jeff and I ordered the lobster. It was all very tasty!! Big ass lobsters!!! Dinner ended with a Chocolate Mousse Tort with a birthday candle on it. Luckily no one sang!!!! After dinner they took me to the kitchen so I could hold one of those live big ass lobsters (see picture below). It's hard to think that when I entered the restaurant my dinner was still alive. Made me a little sad.... but then I thought how yummy it was and then I suddenly didn't feel so bad any more. ;) We then headed off to the New York, New York to place our sports bets that the Cubs would win the world series. After that very important task we headed to the Rio to see the Penn and Teller show. We sat in the fourth row and had a blast!! They are soo funny. We capped off the night by going back to Kahunaville for drinks. They have the bartenders that juggle the bottles and do all kinds of cool tricks. Ya know, like in the movie Cocktail? At about 2 or 3am we head back to the hotel to pack, say our good byes, and CRASH.
Monday- I get up and head to the airport, get a plane to Chicago, get a plane to London, then get a train to Paddington station. By this time it's Tuesday morning and I am super tired. I get off the train and immediately hear over the intercom, "Due to a phone threat we are evacuating the entire station. Please exit immediately!" Well, not only did they clear the station, but block off the streets getting to the station. Which for me meant no Taxi home. So, I grab my stuff and start walking. Thirty minutes later I finally find a Taxi and get myself home safely. I never heard the station explode so I assume everything was ok. I have been sleeping a lot so I have just now made time to write this SUPER LONG blog. And with the end of this blog comes the true end of my trip. I had a great time!! Thanks to all involved! See ya next year......

The Venetian Hotel and a night shot of the Vegas Strip.

Inside the Venetian Canals and alas our long ass hallway!

A display at the Star Trek Experience and me being silly.

Me, Jeff, and Matt looking money and finally all of us with that big ass lobster!!!

Vegas baby Vegas!

I'm off to Vegas tomorrow!! And after a short 15 hour flight I will be gambling in the desert with the best of them. If ya need me I'll be at the Venetian!! See ya next week !!

I am not crazy!

I don't really have much to say. I guess I just wanted to write in the blog. I think either the well in my head has dried up or I am getting tired of writing in this thing? I dunno yet... just have to keep typing and see if I feel better about it. Hmmmm.... no....no... nothing yet. Well, nothing yet. Wait! Wait a second!!!! Nope still nothing. Oh well, I guess on the reality side I'll be in Vegas in 5 days. Pretty excited about spending my birthday there. You know gamble, lose all of my money, get really depressed, drink myself into oblivion, pass out on the strip somewhere, and wake up with strange Mexican people slapping porn brochures at me. SLAP-SLAP-SLAP.... I can hear it now. Oh joy, the things to look forward to in life. Gotta love it!! I will be happy to not only be in the states again, but to be somewhere warm. Mmmmmmmm golden sun warmth. This has been my longest stay outside the country. I know it must have missed me so.... actually now thinking.... I have not heard from A LOT of people since I split!! I mean I keep in touch with my closest and dearest friends, but everyone else...... nothing. Nothing at all!!!! I think I should be really upset! Wait I think I am upset!!! No no I'm not.... that was just a Dr Pepper burp. Ahhhh, much better. Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah, like I said she looked 18 to me so when the cops burst in.... no this is my public journal isn't it? Ooops that was meant to be private. I was talking about ummmm.... Scotch. Yeah thats it. Scotch! A nice 18 year old single malt Scotch. MMMMMmmmmm..... no wait I don't even like Scotch. WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?????? Well, if you really want to know.... this has been an exercise in writing. I sat down and wrote what ever my inner monologue said. Yes, in other words, just typing the voices in my head. Scary, huh? I'm just glad Leroy didn't say anything!!! He's such an arse! NO I"M NOT!!! YES YOU ARE!!!!! NO! YES! NO! SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE MISTER!!!! See, you mention his name and he just has to make an appearance. ;) Oh well, now that I have thoroughly convinced you of my madness I should go. If you would like to follow my little exercise feel free to leave a comment... other wise BUGGER OFF THEN!!!!

Got porn?

So, I was reading today that an unemployed German man sued social services because they wouldn't pay for pornography and frequent trips to the local brothel. His reasoning was that being on unemployment means that social services should make sure he's fit and healthy. And if he has to deprive himself of these needs they aren't doing their job. I think it's an interesting case... a bit ludicrous.... but still interesting. This guy doesn't get embarrassed very easily does he? Can you imagine going into a government office screaming, "Give me porn and give me whores or I will break down your frickin' doors." Now I don't want to say that I don't sympathize with this guy, but there are ways to stay "Fit and Healthy" without the use of porn and whores. So I'm told anyway... I wouldn't know for sure. ;) I think the lesson that needs to be taught here is, "If you want something done...you gotta do it yourself."

Something about Miriam

In this new world of reality television where producers are constantly creating cutting edge programming one has to ask, "Is this going too far?" Joe Millionaire pushed the envelope in tricking money hungry women that they were competing to win the heart of a hot millionaire. Well, obviously he wasn't a millionaire and the women were tricked and humiliated. The best part in this scenario is that the women really couldn't complain because it would only prove that they were in it for the money. And lord knows that no one would marry a millionaire just for money!! But even as that show took trickery to a whole new level, the BBC has pushed that envelope right off a cliff with it's new show "There's Something About Miriam". The concept of this show is similar to Joe Millionaire, Average Joe, The Bachlorette, and any other dating reality show. They took a handful of men and had them compete for the love of beautiful Miriam. The twist comes at the end of the process when Miriam lifts her skirt and shows the winner that she has a penis. Hellloooooo!!!!!! Ummmm.... how do you respond to that? Well, apparently you punch the producer in the face and then launch a law suit against the BBC. Now my question is this, "Who didn't see this coming?" I was honestly surprised that the guys didn't go on a killing spree. I mean they all made out, fondled, and man handled Miriam for 3 weeks! I would be upset, wouldn't you? It reminds me of the Jenny Jones show where one guy came out publicly that he had a crush on his straight guy friend. The straight guy, feeling humiliated, killed the other guy. This was just a crush... not a 3 week romance with a transsexual. So, I think this show has gone WAY overboard on what should be acceptable deception in the world of reality television. I mean this is down right mean! Now the only question is, "Where will it all stop?" Only time will tell I guess....

Luftwaffe

This is going to be an educational entry so if you don't want me to learn ya somethin' RUN AWAY NOW!!!! Actually you might already know this but oh well. I've been watching a lot of UK history on the ummm.... uk history channel and have found myself VERY interested. I have always been intrigued by the second world war but have always looked at it through American history. I recently learned that Hitlers strategy on defeating countries, especially England, was to bomb the crap out of the poor people. He believed that by pissing off the poor people they would revolt against the government thus making the government buckle ensuring an easy German take over. I mean this is actually a very novel idea... sad to say. I mean would you be more upset by someone bombing your place of work or some government building or would you be more mad if someone bombed your house and all of your worldy possessions? I think everyone being inherently selfish would say bombing their house, all casualties aside. And thats what Hitler did to London... miles and miles of residential neighborhoods completely leveled. But Hitlers inherent flaw in this idea was that he was assuming England would be like the rest of Europe and eventually just bend over and welcome the Germans take over. You know how adamant Americans are that their way of life is the best? Well, British take that to a new level!!!! This is a country that waited 15 years to get diet coke because it was a silly American drink. They are very protective of being British!!! They are very protective of the crown, thus why they still have it even though it serves very little purpose. I found this new twist of information very interesting. I'm sure you are equally interested aren't you? Ok don't answer that! So in conclusion, it was the British and their own stubborn ways that defeated the Germans. Oh yeah, the Americans helped a little too. And ya know that whole American revolution that we all learned in school? Yeah, a mere foot note in England history. Funny huh? Just proves that ALL history should be taken with a grain of salt. And speaking of history... lets make this blog entry history......I'm gone!