AJ's Online Journal

Nytol

Once again I have been experiencing some sleeping problems. In solution to this problem Julie brought home this "herbal" remedy she picked up at the pharmacy. So while reading the box, as one should do before taking any over the counter drug, I discovered a few interesting facts. And as there weren't any responses to my other interesting observations in my last entry.... I will do my best to ignore the unsupportive nature of my friends and continue with todays observations. Of course I'm only kidding. I won't do my best at all. :p Now the first thing I noticed on the back of the box were the side effects.

SIDE EFFECTS- None. If you see one, tell your doctor or pharmacist.

First of all, if they tell me to look for no side effects how will I know if I have side effects or not? The side effects that I experience might be from all that crack I did the night before? And worse... what if it causes blindness and I can't see the side effects? This is very bothersome.

The second thing that I noticed was the active ingredient.

ACTIVE INGREDIENTS- Hops (Because they are sedative and hypnotic).

Now if you are like me, you are asking yourself, "Hops? Ain't that what they put in beer?" (Yes, my internal monologue has a hick accent.) And if you did ask yourself that... the answer would be yes.... yes it is. I was always told the hops was just for flavor. I now see a much grander scale of why they started putting hops in beer! To sedate people and make them more suggestive to hypnosis? It's just another example of the man trying to keep us under his control. I say to hell with that... I'm going to stop drinking beer! I'll show them! NO MORE BEER!!!! Wait.....hold your horses there AJ..... giving up beer? You gots to be talkin' gibberish? Yes, yes I am. I never step out of line when it comes to following directions. So tonight I will take the recommended dose of two tablets and down it with a nice cold beer. Hopefully it will make me sleep and quiet that hick voice I have talkin' in my noggin'. :) I'll let you know how it turns out.

Thats all I really have for today......

A few UK observations.

There's a new magazine for men offered here in the UK. It's called NUTS. Now the name alone is some what humorous, but what gets me is the slogan they are using in their TV advertisements. NUTS- Grab yours today. So, in good spirit, I guess I'll go grab my ...... ummmm....... no I just can't bring myself to say it. ;)

Walking down most streets here you see TO LET signs for houses and flats and such. Out of all the places I've seen and all of the spray painted walls and bridges that vandals like to canvas I still have never seen anyone go up to a TO LET sign and stick the letter " i " right in the middle. Seems very obvious to me, but then again, I have always been one for toilet humor.

Guys and their actions.

A female friend of mine was having a bit of dating trouble… as most single people tend to have. In a deep frustration, she asked if I could explain, “ Why guys treat girls the way they do?” I thought about this for a while, as I really had apprehensions about disclosing any guy secrets, but I later figured that disclosing this information will in no way break my obligation to honor the sacred pact of the order of manhood. So here goes…. The topic I will be addressing is a helpful guide to figuring out what kind of relationship a guy wants by his actions. After all…. guys don’t communicate well so we think our actions speak for themselves… which women think they don’t, but that’s a whole other topic. Now I have broken down the guys into three major classes of relationships which are as follows….

1. Casual Sex guy- This is the guy that doesn’t really put forth any effort whatsoever in developing a true relationship. He only calls or makes arrangements to see you when he wants to have sex. Talking on the phone, romantic dinners, and other experiences that involve getting to know you really are non-existent. Oh he makes you feel special and wanted, but the truth is, when you are apart…… HE NEVER THINKS ABOUT YOU! Well, that is unless he is horny and then he will think to call you or make arrangements to see you.
2. Oedipus asshole guy- This is the guy that looks for a girl to develop a close relationship with, without the intention of being faithful. To this guy the relationship is all about him and what YOU can do for him. This guy wants a girl to be home doing things like cooking, cleaning, running errands…. anything that makes him feel empowered in the relationship. Women with low self esteem seem to fall in these relationships most often. This guy basically wants a mother and that’s the extent of his love because this is the type of guy that goes out and sleeps around behind his mates back. Now don’t get me wrong… he will do anything and everything to keep his current relationship intact. He’s not looking for a replacement… he’s looking for sex, because that’s just another thing that empowers him and makes him feel “like the man”. He doesn’t love anyone except himself, but is VERY convincing otherwise. Beware of this guy.
3. True relationship guy- This is the guy women should really go for…. the nice guy, the romantic guy, but unfortunately the weaker guy. Most women dismiss this guy because they are attracted to casual sex guy and Oedipus asshole guy more often. This guy however is the guy that wants a relationship with you and may even be overly excited about the possibilities of having a relationship with you, yet another tragic flaw of this type of guy. This guy will call you, keep his promises, do things for you, be romantic, and will probably love you until the end of time if you asked him to. This is the guy you start a family with and want to grow old with.

Now the funny thing is, most guys move from class to class through out their life. Now I know you are asking, “But how can I tell what kind of guy they are?” It’s very simple…. let their actions speak for themselves. I know this is very difficult for women to do… they tend to analyze the guys every decision and rationalize it, but the thing to remember is that guys aren’t rational. Hell, humans aren’t rational. If the guy has sex with you, calls a week later, and wants to hook up…… what kind of guy do you think he is? Now I know he will make some huge excuse on how he has been busy, but has been thinking of you the whole entire week. This is bullshit….. the reason he hasn’t called you for a week is that he hasn’t needed you for a week. Once again…. LET HIS ACTIONS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. So in closing, guys really aren’t complex beings, you just need to know how to read actions. I know it can be difficult at times, but once you figure it out you will be on a much better road to happiness. I hope this helps our female viewers some what. And as for our male viewers, I hope this helps those guys that ask, “She keeps calling me and I never call her back. When will she get the hint?” Hopefully now she will be able to read your actions, get the hint, and stop bothering you.

This has been Dr. AJ speaking today…. I hope you enjoyed the show. See ya next time….

Ambassador A.J.

Last night we went for drinks at the London Business School where Julie got her MBA. She does some interviews for admissions and they invited her to this lil' get together. As with most of these little parties I usually feel a bit odd and out of place. I'm sure some of it is social anxiety, but for the most part it's just being in a room with a lot of very intelligent people and wondering if they know I'm different. It's like I'm under cover and I can't let anyone know that I have infiltrated the organization. Sometimes it's very fun. Though, last night in one of the many, "So where are you from?" conversations I came across someone that said, "Oh your from Arkansas? We don't get very many applicants from there." , this person said with a slight chuckle. "Thats probably because most people from Arkansas can't even spell MBA. " I responded. Now after saying that I realize that I meet A LOT of people that have never met someone from Arkansas before. I should take this more seriously! Some of these people might form an opinion of an entire state because of me. That's a big responsibility! I am in some form an Ambassador of Arkansas. Pretty cool, huh? Of course I'm completely talking out of my arse right now, but I think in the future after I have my instinctive Arkansas put down I will come back with, "Of course I'm only joking. MOST people in Arkansas CAN spell MBA." I mean I don't want the international community to think that Arkansas is full of slack-jawed yokels. The rest of America already thinks that so why should I help perpetuate a stereo type? Maybe I should make something up just to see how much word of mouth actually travels in England. I could start telling people that Arkansas is actually a communist state, but America just keeps it a secret. That way next time theres a press conference at the White House I can see if any reporters ask about America's so-called communist state. It could be an interesting experiment. I am going to get to work on that right now....

Starsky and Hutch

I was actually going to write my review of Starsky and Hutch last week, but I got really busy and well.... here I am. I worked a project for this movie company doing script and location break downs. Basically a helluva lot of paper work. You know, the stuff I love to do!!! Anyhoo, I finished with it this morning and it has been sent to the powers that be. So I am free to give my thoughts on this seventies comedy remake.

I guess I was going into the movie with totally high expectations which is always a bad thing to do. I was thinking how much DeDe and I laughed our bloody arse's off last summer watching Old School. Thats STILL one of my favorite comedies. So, when I heard the director and the whole ensemble were putting together Starsky and Hutch I about wet myself. But unfortunately, it didn't stand up to my expectations. Don't get me wrong it was still as good a comedy thats out there right now, but I was hoping for brilliance! Ben Stiller as Starsky was a brilliant and funny choice. In fact, I think he was the highlight of the movie. The rest of the ensemble seemed to be put in parts where they couldn't use their comedy strengths. Will Ferrell was funny as expected, but put in a very small role so he wasn't able to shoulder as much of the movie like he did in Old School. This was probably the biggest mistake, but in all honesty I don't know where else they would have put him. Vince Vaughn played his typical self which as time goes on becomes a little less funny than the time before. All in all, I laughed at several parts, but in the end it didn't stand up to it's potential. I give big props to Stiller and Ferrell for making it as good as it is. Hopefully Todd Phillips will bring the ensemble back yet again. After all, they are so freakin' funny!